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Fatherhood: A Foundation for Societal Stability
By: Ehimwenma E. Aimiuwu
2006

 

 

When I first arrived in the United States in the early 90s, one of the biggest cultural shocks I remembered was my fellow students asking me how much I missed my mother and siblings, but never my father.  It became obvious through time that many of my colleagues, who were mainly of African-American background, did not know their father and they were not interested in talking about him.  Also, a close observation between the African-American students revealed a tension between their males and females.  The females openly referred to their mates as “dogs” while the males proudly called their females, even at parties, as their “bitches”.  This was very strange to me because these nicknames were not of praise but of intentional disrespect towards each other.  After much inquiry, it became clear that it was a culturally accepted way of expression which was based on the cultural reality of their lifestyle. 

 

Many of the women felt that they did not need their men for economic, social, and political survival in the United States.  They felt that they had governmental programs for single mothers and their children; they also felt that they were more educated, hardworking, and determined, and they also believed that they were better off in climbing the societal pedestal without the hindrance of their men.  Based on this reasoning, many women considered their males as “dogs” because they were not meant for marriage; instead they are seen as providers of sexual gratification for multiple partners or baby mamas.  The men on the other hand, feel that since they had no father, there should not be an obligation on their part to be anyone’s father or husband.  Despite how often their women complain, they feel it is their obligation to provide that sexual gratification their women need without responsibility for the end result.   Since their women are always available and the women know very well that they have no interest in marrying them or becoming a father, it gives these men the license to call them “bitches”, which some women respond to publicly and often call themselves. 

 

 

 

This has lead to a glorified lifestyle of single parent homes in America.  You will even observe various organizations and programs promoting single motherhood as a symbol of strength and normality.  Many young women today feel it is a huge accomplishment to tell the public that they raised three boys (of different fathers) by themselves while they went through college.  Not having a man has now become a cheap way to get applauded for survival.  What about a woman who has the same degree and a business, and is married with the same three children?  This woman is almost never celebrated.  She is seen as weak or under the control of a husband.  It has gotten to bad in many public schools that many children from two parent homes have to lie that they are from single parent homes just to fit into the latest trend.   Despite the fact, that many social researchers are crying out on top of their voices that fatherless homes are the main reason for societal social decay, the feminist movement and other women organizations (usually headed by educated lesbians) are saying that this argument is trying to take away women’s rights and the freedom for women to be themselves without the presence and dominion of a man.

The painful truth of the matter is that in many neighborhood where they is a high level of fatherless homes, there is increased crime rates, high school drop-outs, teenage pregnancies, drug use, poverty, disorderliness, lack of environmental maintenance,  and just poor behavioral issues.  This is because most single parents have to work two or three jobs to make it, with or without government financial assistance.  This also means that less quality time is spent with their children to be taught and raised properly.   As a husband and father of two children, I have noticed that no matter how much love and care my wife showers on my children (male and female), their day is never complete until I have carried them or played with them.  Even when I am extremely busy, their mother has to restrain them sometimes from coming or reaching out to me in order for me complete my task successfully.  There was a time my wife traveled with my son for some days, I was told by all who went along that a couple of times each day, my son who go to the stairs and be calling my name to come down and play.

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As a former teacher, every school that hired me was always grateful to have me as another male staff.  It took me a while to understand why my gender was very important around children.  I noticed like many of the teachers, especially the female teachers, that when just one male teacher was present, there was order in the room.  It might not be 100%, but there was order to a high degree.  When there were activities that the male teachers had no business with, they were still scheduled to be present even if all they needed to do was to sit in the room and grade papers.  The female students who were considered a nightmare in many female teachers’ classes were angels in mine.  There were some terrible senior boys in my class that I had to deal with, but when the female teachers could not handle them, they either sent them to the male teachers or request for the male teachers. 

 

So any culture, society, or race that feels it is complete or adequate without a successful percentage of fathers in the homes is a group making a fool out of itself.  Any form of propaganda that glorifies single parenthood or motherhood is a selfish, wicked, and confused agenda that intends to profit from the services that caters to the prisons, jail houses, low-income labor, adoption, social disorder, welfare, and counseling industries.  Any culture that promotes intentional fatherless homes with the hope of getting child-support or alimony is a godless culture that seeks income without work.  It is a cool business that causes destruction and pain in the minds and hearts of the children.  We must define ourselves to attract the right spouses for the sake our children, and not pretend to try to change anyone and later punish them for it for not being there.