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After 20 years of staying in America, it is clear that the biggest issue between African men and women in general is the sexual performance of African men in a relationship. Women usually praise the African man for the size and toughness of his electric pole, his ability to care for his family adequately in terms of finance and time, improving the behavioral and intellectual culture of his children, and his bedroom endurance.  Despite these accolades, women seems to have issues with his four play, touches, and length of endurance in the bedroom.

Many African men today still see going downtown as a taboo. Some feel that their mouth is merely for speaking and eating, but the women feel that it is useful downstairs as well.  While women emphasize the pleasure from the tongue, some African men feel that it is a crime to use any part of their body for what God did not create it for.  In terms of fingers, many African men forbid to touch downstairs with their favorite instrument for eating pounded yam and eba.  Many African men have been faced with the fact that some women of the 21st century place a higher value on pleasure than morality in the bedroom (unlike their mothers) and stand a chance of their women cheating or taking their relationship lightly.  

When it comes to touches hours before the bedroom, many modern women want to share the couch while watching the news, so that they can have the opportunity to curdle, hug, kiss, and get some massage or back rubs.  It seems some African men can do one thing at a time and do it well.  So the strategic women appear to be a nuisance while he is watching the news or a soccer match.  When in the bedroom, King Kong is ready for action, but Queen Kong is not stimulated.  She insists that sex is hours before the electric pole.  Even when many men have grudgingly participated in the tongue exercise downtown, the women still feel that the electric pole is needed for just about 10 minutes rather than the 30-45 minutes of evidence to show who the boss really is (at least at the moment).

While many women of today feel that sex is gentle, pleasure, short, effective, and requires hours of touch and poetry, some African men seems to feel that sex is an activity of strength, self-esteem, lengthy exercise (rather than going to the gym), and minutes of repeated heavy touches.  At the end of the day, many women still feel that the African man as a total package is still a competitive deal in the 21st century because his imperfections are insignificant to what he brings to the table.  Also, some women have decided to accept them for who they are and take the charge of the four play in preparation for a pleasant romance.

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